


Want

by IceBlueRose



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:19:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBlueRose/pseuds/IceBlueRose
Summary: Logan and Veronica finally talk and take the first step towards getting back together.





	Want

**Author's Note:**

> The fourth and final gift for ladydisdain225 for vm_santa 2005 on LiveJournal.

"And ruin'd love, when it is built anew  
Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater."  
\- Sonnet 119, l. 11

"Answer me in one word." - As You Like It (Act III, Scene II)

 

"Are we really having this conversation? Seriously? Are we actually talking about why your relationship with Duncan didn't work out?" Logan demanded, thinking back to the way Duncan had wandered into the suite a couple of days ago and had walked into his room, muttering something about blonde hairs and hairbrushes. He pushed that thought to the side and when there was no answer, he continued, "Really, Veronica, what made you think I'd be the best person to come to for this?" His voice is just a tinge bitter and this time, Veronica responds.

"We have things we need to talk about too, Logan."

Logan snorted. " _Now_ she wants to talk. And I suppose you think I should just jump at the chance, right? Use this to try and convince you that I'm really the guy for you so you can go on with that perfect little _normal_ life that just isn't complete without your normal little boyfriend?" 

Veronica narrowed her eyes and he felt the tiniest bit of satisfaction at the fact that he was getting to her. Of course, since this was Veronica Mars he was talking to, she just wouldn't let him keep that sense of satisfaction.

"You're not the guy I'd choose to have a perfectly normal life, Logan. I don't see myself living with you behind a white picket fence anytime in the future." She shakes her head as if wondering why she came in the first place. "You're not normal, Logan. You're frustrating as hell and there are times where I really just want to slap you-"

"This is all very flattering, really, but is there a point to this? Or were you just going to list my faults all day? Because if so, sorry, I'm booked solid for that activity but maybe I can fit you in some time next week."

Veronica leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms. "If you'd quit interrupting me, maybe I'd get to my point."

Logan raised an eyebrow and waved his hand in her direction. "Well then, carry on."

Now that she knew that he wouldn't interrupt, Veronica didn't know what to say. She shifted a bit nervously and fought back a sigh. She licked her lips, not noticing the way Logan's eyes followed the movement. "Like I was saying, you're annoying. And frustrating. But..." She shifted once more as she trailed off.

"But...what? But you just can't resist me, especially since my brief moment of insanity induced argyle?"

"More like since before I saw you in nothing more than a towel actually."

Logan stopped, shaking his head, sure that he heard wrong. He wanted to say something. He wanted to brush her off, tell her that she missed her chance.

"What did you just say?" is what comes out instead. Veronica looks up at him, taking a deep breath.

"I'm pretty sure you heard me the first time, Logan."

"Maybe I think it bears repeating."

Veronica sighed. "I think about you." She stated it simply in a tone of voice he imagined was very well suited to reciting the times tables. "I know I shouldn't. Hell, I'm the one that broke up with you. But I didn't stop caring."

He snorted. "Yeah? Funny way of showing it."

"What did you expect me to do Logan? Follow you around? Say 'Oh, I know we're not dating anymore so this really could be considered stalking but hey! I just thought I'd check up on you, drop off some cookies, discuss the latest in Vogue.' while giving you my most winning smile? We both know how that would have gone," she snapped.

"If you cared so damn much, why'd you break up with me in the first place?"

"Because you scare me. I know you'd never hurt me, not physically. But you had the power to hurt me emotionally. You still do and I don't know what to do about that. You're intense, Logan. And to have all that intensity focused on me was both wonderful and frightening." She turned away for a moment, staring at the wall, before she turned back to face him. "Add to that the fact that you seemed determined to stir things up, to hurt yourself, and it was too much. So I broke up with you."

There were feelings rushing through Logan that he hadn't allowed himself to feel for her in months and he didn't know what to do about it. He was tempted to go out and just start driving until he came to a solution but he knew that wouldn't work. And underneath that, there was still the anger that he hadn't quite been able to push aside since the day he'd seen her and Duncan walk by, holding hands as if the past year or so hadn't happened.

"Just answer me one question," he said. Veronica nodded. "Why did you go back to Duncan so soon?"

Veronica didn't answer right away and he was glad. He didn't want the automatic answer, the one she told everyone. He wanted the real reason.

"He was safe," Veronica finally told him. Logan nodded, knowing it was true. Duncan was the one most parents wished their daughter would date so they could beam with pride in their little girl's choice of boyfriend.

"And now?"

The air is charged with something that Logan can't define as he waits for Veronica's answer once more. She looked up at him, her answer in her eyes but he doesn't move. He wants to hear her say it, needs to hear it. In the back of his mind, a tiny voice whispers that if she's not going to say it, if she's going to back down, he'd wish she'd just do it fast as if she was ripping off a bandage.

"I don't want safe." She bit her lip as she took a step forward. "I don't want normal. I'm not normal. I've actually been told I can be very annoying."

"Constant pain in the ass," Logan agreed. She smiled.

"So the way I figure it, I should be with someone who's annoying. Who's frustrating and makes me want to throttle him. Someone intense and messy and emotional. Because what I want is the very thing I ran from this summer."

"It won't be easy."

"I don't want easy." She gestured between them. "This...between us, it's never been easy no matter how hard I tried to make it that way. And then when I had easy, I didn't want it. Life's not easy, Logan, something we both know. You can't force it to become easy just because you want to be, something you already knew." She reached out, hesitating only a moment before she placed her hand on his arm. "I want someone I can fight with, someone who pushes me, who won't brush off either of our feelings. I want something real, Logan."

He stared down at her, a war raging inside him. This was everything he'd denied wanting. But he couldn't just say yes.

"And what about what I want?" he asked. There was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes when he said it but he wouldn't take the words back. He refused.

"What do you want?"

He let out a small laugh and looked away, studying the furniture as if it were the most fascinating thing he'd seen in years. He turned back to Veronica.

"I don't want what we had last year." He lifted a hand as she began to step back, disappointment replacing uncertainty. He shook his head, taking hold of her arm to stop her from pulling away anymore than she already is. "What we had was based off lust." A small smile tugged at his lips. "Let's face it, we made out every chance we got."

"I didn't see a problem with that."

Logan gave her a look that clearly told her to shut up and let him continue. For once, she did. "We made out. You won't hear any complaints from me. But we didn't really talk, Veronica." He shook his head again. "And whenever the chance came up, we avoided it. The one time I said what I was feeling for you, really came out and said, you brushed it off."

"Logan-" Veronica started. 

"You had your say, now let me have mine." He waited until she was silent again before continuing. "So no, I don't want what we had last year. If we do this, you need to know right now that I'm not going to settle for whatever you're willing to give me. I want all you've got. And I know it won't happen right away because this isn't Hollywood and we're not characters in a movie. But if we do this, we're both going to be risking something. You think you can handle that?"

Veronica stared up at him, thinking of what he'd said. She thought of what they'd had, of what she'd had with Duncan and what he'd had with Kendall, and she thought of what he wanted to have. She smiled, the answer clearer to her than anything had been in a long time as she nodded.

"Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Story originally posted: January 1, 2006
> 
> \- I'm moving all my VM fic from LiveJournal to here and since I've decided not to rewrite or edit any of them, I'll be including when the fic was originally posted.


End file.
